Yes, I was immature and a little self-centered.
As it turns out, my family has repeatedly used nearly every gift she ever gave us.
I didn’t have a close relationship with Grandma Ruth. She passed away ten years ago and at that point, I’d been married to my husband for only five years. I don’t remember any words of wisdom that she gave to me or have memories of special times together.
She lives on in my life through the gifts she gave. I’ve gone from wondering “why did she give me this?” to wondering, “How did she know I’d need this?”
For example, one year for Christmas, Grandma Ruth gave me and my husband a set of plastic plates that looked like they came straight out of the 70s. They were bright rainbow colors. There were three different sizes of six plates. At the time we didn’t have any children and I thought, “what on earth are we going to do with 18 plastic plates?”
Fast forward a few years to when we had four children. The plates are made of basically indestructible plastic so they have survived daily use from our children for over a decade. We are a family of six so even the number of plates turned out perfect.
Another surprisingly useful gift was four small baby blankets that Grandma Ruth made when my twins were born. The sewing wasn’t precise and the fabric wasn’t “cute.” At first, I thought I’d put the quilts away in a box because they weren’t that great to look at. But I quickly realized what a blessing these “ugly” blankets were.
Because I wasn’t worried about ruining them, I did everything with these blankets and took them everywhere. They were the blankets I’d put down on the grass when we went to the park. I brought them on walks because I didn’t worry about them getting dirty if they fell out of the stroller. I used them as burp cloths and diaper changing pads. The fancy and cute blankets were the ones that ended up in a box because I was afraid of ruining them.
Perhaps the best gift was two little stuffed reindeer Grandma Ruth gave the twins for their first Christmas. As the twins grew up, the reindeer became their favorite stuffed animals. They named them Antler and Nose. Antler is especially loved—so much so that when she disappeared one year, I frantically combed the internet to find where to buy that dang deer. I was successful and my daughter literally cried when she opened a Christmas present and saw Antler in the box. (The cover story was that Antler went back to the North Pole so Santa could give her more stuffing.)
Another Christmas Grandma Ruth wanted to give each of her grandchildren a bedspread. I’ll be honest, I did not like the one that she picked out for my husband, so we traded with his sister who also didn’t like the one she was given. I liked the bedspread we scored in the trade and had it on my bed for years until I upgraded to a King size bed.
The bedspread then ended up with my son. It’s one of his favorite blankets to sleep with. Lately, it has taken a beating from frequent washings. The other day, as I was putting the bedspread into the washing machine, I thought that the time had come time to replace it. I immediately thought, “I can’t replace it. This bedspread is perfect because it’s big enough to be warm, but small enough to fit into this washing machine. How did Grandma Ruth know that I’d need a blanket like this?”
Thinking about Grandma Ruth’s gifts makes me think about my own gift-giving efforts. How many times have I talked myself out of giving a gift because I was worried someone wouldn’t like it? Or decided not to give a homemade gift because it wasn’t cute or perfect looking? I think I need to be willing to give the gift anyway. I can’t really know the long-term impact of a simple gift.
I didn’t have a close relationship with Grandma Ruth. She passed away ten years ago and at that point, I’d been married to my husband for only five years. I don’t remember any words of wisdom that she gave to me or have memories of special times together.
She lives on in my life through the gifts she gave. I’ve gone from wondering “why did she give me this?” to wondering, “How did she know I’d need this?”
For example, one year for Christmas, Grandma Ruth gave me and my husband a set of plastic plates that looked like they came straight out of the 70s. They were bright rainbow colors. There were three different sizes of six plates. At the time we didn’t have any children and I thought, “what on earth are we going to do with 18 plastic plates?”
Fast forward a few years to when we had four children. The plates are made of basically indestructible plastic so they have survived daily use from our children for over a decade. We are a family of six so even the number of plates turned out perfect.
Another surprisingly useful gift was four small baby blankets that Grandma Ruth made when my twins were born. The sewing wasn’t precise and the fabric wasn’t “cute.” At first, I thought I’d put the quilts away in a box because they weren’t that great to look at. But I quickly realized what a blessing these “ugly” blankets were.
Because I wasn’t worried about ruining them, I did everything with these blankets and took them everywhere. They were the blankets I’d put down on the grass when we went to the park. I brought them on walks because I didn’t worry about them getting dirty if they fell out of the stroller. I used them as burp cloths and diaper changing pads. The fancy and cute blankets were the ones that ended up in a box because I was afraid of ruining them.
Perhaps the best gift was two little stuffed reindeer Grandma Ruth gave the twins for their first Christmas. As the twins grew up, the reindeer became their favorite stuffed animals. They named them Antler and Nose. Antler is especially loved—so much so that when she disappeared one year, I frantically combed the internet to find where to buy that dang deer. I was successful and my daughter literally cried when she opened a Christmas present and saw Antler in the box. (The cover story was that Antler went back to the North Pole so Santa could give her more stuffing.)
Another Christmas Grandma Ruth wanted to give each of her grandchildren a bedspread. I’ll be honest, I did not like the one that she picked out for my husband, so we traded with his sister who also didn’t like the one she was given. I liked the bedspread we scored in the trade and had it on my bed for years until I upgraded to a King size bed.
The bedspread then ended up with my son. It’s one of his favorite blankets to sleep with. Lately, it has taken a beating from frequent washings. The other day, as I was putting the bedspread into the washing machine, I thought that the time had come time to replace it. I immediately thought, “I can’t replace it. This bedspread is perfect because it’s big enough to be warm, but small enough to fit into this washing machine. How did Grandma Ruth know that I’d need a blanket like this?”
Thinking about Grandma Ruth’s gifts makes me think about my own gift-giving efforts. How many times have I talked myself out of giving a gift because I was worried someone wouldn’t like it? Or decided not to give a homemade gift because it wasn’t cute or perfect looking? I think I need to be willing to give the gift anyway. I can’t really know the long-term impact of a simple gift.
What’s a gift you didn’t understand at first but have come to appreciate?
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I would love to hear what you think. Did I get it right, or was I dead wrong? What was your experience like?